Unknown Oakland.
Friday
On the journey toward Oakland, my first stop was to test Vermont’s health insurance. Determine definitively if I’ve ever acquired an STD. In my previous Mun encounter, the lack of a definitive answer required healthy restraint. Following extensive visits, and after departing, my only positive result was for strenuous activity. The results of which I blame Yosemite.
As I closed in on Rockridge without an address, I turned up the first innocuous street, stopping on a steep slope to introduce myself to a lady watering her flowers across the street. Katherine, pleasantly encouraged I knock on next door David’s house to inquire further. Upon recounting my tale, he asked me to back up to allow space for his contractor and warned of Oakland’s high theft. I left my name and number which were received with good wishes. Just after receiving an address, I started to walk in Mun’s direction.
Before my Yosemite departure, I was advised, by Mun, that a wedding this weekend would appreciate my attendance. My first task after arrival, assist in acquiring ingredients. Non-alcoholic beverages for 150 people and breakfast for 90 were needed. We both agreed on tacos and nachos as the first step.
On route to Costco with the top dropped in her white 90s VW Cabrio that reluctantly started, I worked up the courage to see where a shoulder caress would get me. I discovered then a new boyfriend had appeared after the recent departure of a previous one. And that shoulder caresses can trigger trauma. Neither place I intended to venture but the increase in perspective was appreciated.
After helping produce massive quantities of iced tea, lemonade, and hibiscus ginger liquids in various concentrates I opted to call it for the evening to give Mun space. The previous day, she had assisted her close friends transition their relationship, and emotionally dug into herself.
Saturday
I woke early, acquired an urgent care doctor’s note, a requirement for testing, and then explored the color within the local laundromat. I asked a lady for a capful of detergent in exchange for a few dollars. She denied my offer, then astoundingly, poured her entire gallon bottle into two washers. While my clothes made progress, I did the same with a book. I learned then my wedding invitation had been rescinded. With the perspective gained the previous day, unknown emotional explorations, pre-wedding prep, and Mun’s birthday event the following day, I opted not to dig into why. Fortunately, the lack of context allowed the use of my imagination.
Oddly enough, I received a message from Ridgway, from a friend who wished I could attend the wedding she was headed to that evening. In lieu of any weddings, I biked 20 minutes to Berkley’s boulders to be advised on arrival, that the recommended climbing spot was a 30 min ride south. I arrived with an hour to spare. Luckily the lack of food and unexpected bike adventure combined to provide a sufficient tucker. After I made it back, relocated the van, and prepared dinner, reading put me to sleep with ease.
Sunday
The next morning I awoke early to discover Oaklands STD testing location required appointments 3 days in advance. Knowing Mun was likely up late dancing, I hopped in the Van a explore Oakland’s disc golf. After two mediocre nine-hole courses that peaked with a pleasant elder couple, I worked my way towards the 5 pm Kelp, Mun celebration. Stopping off at the Huckleberry Botanical Preserve for a walk in the woods. where I learned the beautiful tri-petaled flower is named after a dude called Douglas.
I progressed towards Kelp, the hillside estate hosting her 40th birthday. Early still, I ventured towards a “greenspace” around the corner. Not knowing why my invite was rescinded, thoughts of trauma-inducing shoulder caresses occupied my mind, the idea that I had violated space facilitated the exploration of past trauma in a new light. Was this the spikey assassin version of Mun she was telling me about Friday? Confiding in a mutual friend helped, but I felt meditation was required before my arrival. When exploring the “greenspace” I crossed a fenced-off hole in the ground, complete with an old typewriter and a bottle of booze. Normal California behavior I guess? Leaving a cairn to mark my spot after meditation, I thought 30 min late was apt.
I arrived at a closed door. Venturing right, I met a lovely lady enjoying the evening sun on the lawn. I kindly explained my arrival, and in turn, she shared the key to the entrance. Upon entry, I observed approximately 20 pairs of shoes. The owners of which were nowhere to be found, upstairs or down. I again approached the lady on the lawn, curious if she could enlighten the mystery of the shoeless people. Unfortunately, we were on the same page. Patience was next. Shortly after, I was texted arrival was imminent, and ingredients were being acquired.
Having had the day to reflect, my thoughts facilitated an interesting celebration. I relished conversations with Mun’s friends, each offering interesting quarks, but hesitated to lock eyes with the assassin. Also Mun’s self-proclaimed recently acquired hairstyle.
I truly enjoyed the Mun-prepared curry cuisine even lacking a few ingredients. After a delicious strawberry, whipped sour cream, and brown sugar sprinkled dessert brought me back to June family traditions. Being allowed to support and observe Mun’s day, and the community she’s found allowed me a content night’s rest.
Monday
Morning arrived slowly, and although curious, I didn’t want my imagination to supersede the day. Once the hour was reasonable, I released an inquiry which was received with access to the rooftop and WiFi where I worked on two projects, one for an old friend, and another for a new one. Also blog updates. That evening with a still recovering Mun I made a late grocery run to acquire ingredients for a breakfast dinner. Before calling it for the evening we headed to Kelp, joining late in a procrastination party. After 3 sessions of 20 min collective working on individual procrastinated tasks, the scheduled dance party was nixed for a cuddle party. Feeling the need to receive an invite to attend, I opted to continue sketching. When we made it back, I relocated the van by the community garden down the way for the evening.
Tuesday
I started with a morning stroll around town before stopping in. I was graciously gifted with a key for apartment and rooftop access where I proceeded to sketch. Later, when Mun was ready, we hopped in the Van and headed to the woods to walk and talk. As expected, my imagination was corrected when context was provided. Space at the wedding, like much of the Bay Area, was limited. Sharing this and the appreciation I had for revisiting emotions I hadn’t long exercised made for a releasing walk. After, a spicy bowl of delicious mushroom ramen and conversation filled our bellies. While Mun went out for the evening to explore Pixar, I washed her dishes and made progress on Moab updates before finding sleep.
Wednesday
Wednesday began with three blood draws and two cups of urine. Followed by an intoxicating, Mun fueled, rose garden hop-n-walk. Her giddy gaze and giggle felt a little dangerous. Attempting to remain sober to protect myself. Aware of this unknown boyfriend I’d yet to meet. After scamping around smelling countless flowers we tried to use up fridge supplies. Mun heated up leftover curry and I made spicy garlic grilled cheese. When Mun left for an evening event, I left for a run. Following a shower I brought popcorn to make then head to the roof. My plan was to make blog or book progress. Unfortunately the sun was setting, and my only option was to enjoy the show.
thursday
While wondering up to the cemetery hilltop vista I got a morning message from Mun. She was ready for a walk. Apparently I’d been visiting the wrong cemetery, she was kind enough to correct my mistake. Before entering the correct cemetery, I visited the restroom at the large building left of the entrance which also happened to be an intricate opulent mausoleum maze, The Chapel of the Chimes. Having ever stopped before, we silently and slowly danced around the various nooks and crannies, eventually settling in adjacent rooms. I closed my eyes and quieted my thoughts until Mun was ready to move on. Knowing she had lost a close friend recently, we shared an intimate embrace before parting. It felt necessary, but also painful.
We kept walking to acquire groceries for the evening’s Mather apartment rooftop pot-luck. My third shopping excursion with Mun, enjoyable as the first. Back at the apartment, Mun made some spicy al dente Ramen. Both agreed overcooked pasta was no good. She then had work, which equated to journaling and reading. Real work in my mind, but not sure it was her intention having shared that “work”, was recently a struggle. I headed up to the roof so she could get busy. Later it was time to prep for pot-luck. Her building mates were a joy to talk to. Everyone was individually intriguing. More time to get to know them would have been nice. Heading downstairs as the sun set everyone parted as I carried on with Mun. Sharing my internal obstacles, real or imagined, from the previous evening. Jealous of the freedom which her Kelp friends shared after the procrastination party. And my need for an invitation. So, we sat reading, on her loveseat, face to face, concentrated on text. I was advised it was time, I finished my chapter. Waiting patiently for her to do the same, her destroyed knee reluctantly received my hand’s focus.
friday
An early morning bike ride kicked off Friday. As we climbed, Mun continued to challenge my perceived obstacles. An ongoing theme I tried not to shy from. Sharing my desire to part. She pushed back, using the quote I had shared earlier against me.
“Only to the extent to which we expose ourselves to annihilation over and over can that which is indestructible be found in us.”
Buddhist teachings from When Things Fall Apart - Pema Chodron
An uneventful 45 min doctor’s visit followed. I was advised results weren’t in and that I could access them online when they arrive. Back at the apartment, Mun had a goal to clean her place. And prior to my initial arrival, it appeared to have experienced inclement weather. I began with emotional support but quickly moved on to physical assistance. With the place nearly presentable, and a boyfriend’s arrival imminent, I headed to the roof to give space before an evening climbing session. With the departure hour arriving and no word from Mun, I made moves. She curiously introduced her recent boyfriend with someone else’s name. After a little more waiting we arrived late.
As a new boyfriend was the excitement, friend introductions for Fitch weren’t a priority. After some awkward exchanges or lack of them, I opted to go bouldering on my own. Checking in on occasion to rest. After significantly tiring myself Muns friend of a friend just arrived from Mt. Shasta. Lucas had never climbed before and recently acquired an un-removed chunk of metal in his finger. He provided a welcome conversation and a challenge. I taught him the basics of top roping and a little technique on the bouldering walls. With a little practice, and a few attempts, he top-roped two routes! I then slowly got to know Chloe, the connecting friend. Belaying her a couple of times before we all departed, tired and hungry.
As we were all headed to Kelp, I opted to ride with Chloe. Let Mun pick us up ramen with her boyfriend, Ben Catta. Chloe and I both agreed, the affections and disappearances from the two were quite the display.
We arrived at Kelp, then immediately turned around for Lucas and a flat tire. Gathering him and his stuff we got back in time with the ramen-toting couple. Curiously while chowing down, Mun’s boyfriend mentioned his Ramen was crunchy, preferring it soft, or “ben catta”. Interestingly, often full of opinion, Mun was silent. We shared amusing cuisine stories and then called it for the evening.
As we returned to Mun’s street, I felt she had a very supportive community around her and a new boyfriend that occupied her attention. And myself, not a huge fan of being a third wheel, felt it was time to announce a plan to depart. Perhaps running away from my annihilation, but hopefully running towards some purpose.
Saturday
Departing turned out to be harder than anticipated. After getting the new phone Mun had acquired through a Kelp friend working, organizing the van, I was able to briefly say goodbye as Mun walked by on her phone. After the first toll north of Oakland, crossing the bridge, the van started stalling again!! She jumped and stuttered a long way to the other side of the shore. After turning her off, looking under the hood and around the outside, I turned the key. Starting and running fine, I cautiously drove another 5 miles before she acted up again. Pulling off the expressway and up an entrance she died. Inspecting and waiting, I patiently got her to a parking spot down the road. I removed the engine cover and waited patiently. Eventually, with the engine cover off, I steadily made it 30 more miles to the disc golf course I had intended originally with no stalling. Just lots of engine heat and a little road dust. While she cooled off I played a doubles round with three rowdy, tipsy, young amigos. Leto, Oscar, and Avery. They were welcome company after my recent ordeals. Even inviting me to their house party which likely required more booze than I was looking for. With the cooler evening air, I drove north, enjoying the engine cover on.
I highly enjoyed my first week with Mun in Syracuse. My second week, in Oakland, was a completely different experience, and I enjoyed it equally. It is too early to tell if there will be a future week, space for reflection sounds healthy, and maybe some gentle adversity and adventure before I’m up for my annihilation.